Sooner or later you will want to start dating again. You will discover that dating after a divorce is a lot different than when you dated in your single days. Now there are babysitting issues and sleepover issues that simply did not exist before. Since you are a parent, you know that it is important to convey the right message about relationships and sexuality and because of that it is important to think things through, remembering that your behavior is sending a message to your children and that they will eventually model your behavior in their relationships.

Children need rules, structure , boundaries and consistency to be healthy and well-adjusted adults. Sometimes when couples divorce, they lose sight of the big picture and forget that they need to come to terms about parenting for the sake and well being of their children. If you are not very careful, your children become pawns in the revenge cycle that often happens during the divorce proceedings.

Holidays are for families to be together. They are magical times of giving and sharing special moments. When you are divorced, you can no longer spend the entire Christmas or Hanukkah season with your children. Chances are the custodial timeshare is that you have half of the time and you ex has the other half. Even if you wanted the divorce, not spending a part of the holiday with your children hits your heart. The shift in the family also impacts your children, who now must be shuttled back and forth instead of being home with everyone at the same time.

Thanksgiving is the first of the big holidays that are emotionally charged for most divorce families. Chances are that when you were still married, your nuclear family had established your own holiday traditions. You celebrated Thanksgiving in a certain way every year-- most likely with either close friends or extended family. Now, with a shared holiday schedule, you may not even be with your children every holiday.

It's official: school is starting. I can tell things are gearing up because of the commercials on television for school clothes and supplies. As a therapist who works with families in shared custodial situations, I find myself running into the same problems over and over with families as they learn how to be divorced, share custody and interface with the school system. Therefore, I thought I would take a few moments here to address the most frequently seen problems, as well as possible solutions:

On the day you married, amid promises to love forever, who would have imagined that you would ever find yourself outside the family law courthouse. At what point did promises disappear, only to be replaced by acrimony and hurt. Here you are, none-the-less. You are now being forced to learn how to be divorced and how to help your children shuttle back and forth between two warring parties.

Halloween is a BIG deal for kids. They begin thinking about their costumes in September. Kids of all ages are swept away by the excitement of being someone else for a day. In fact, the energy and excitement of Halloween is really second only to Christmas or Hanukkah. They plan well in advance not only what their costume should be but also who they will trick or treat with, how long they can stay out, how many houses they will be able to get candy from and how much candy they will rake in.